pangasinan & a sweet precious soul

if you were to tell me back in 2017 that minutes away from the resort we were staying at was my soulmate, i would have went and taken a tricycle on the way to their house. i would have liked to meet this person before i actually met him today.

it would be so interesting to see him. even just from afar. i would like to see the person he was before he met me. i would like to tell him that years from that day, we will meet again in a world estranged by a global pandemic. but we'll be okay. and we'll do okay. we'll be just fine. better than fine. we would be so great that the pandemic is not reason enough for us to feel as though we are miles apart. specifically, 4 hours and 23 minutes apart (according to Google).

i want to tell him that he shouldn't worry. that his prayers would someday come true. and that his prayers involved me. i would take the opportunity to talk to him for a day... maybe even two. get to know who he is. see his face. be a part of a moment before i become a part of his life everyday.

i would have told him that it takes long but it won't be too long before every sky would remind us of each other. that every star would be a symbol of how our eyes flickered a spark whenever we caught each other smile. i want to thank him for being the way that he is. i want to thank him for the person he will become.

and if i get the chance, i would like to thank those who let him go too.

you've all let go of a sweet precious soul. thank you.

now, i get to be the one to love him. to be with him. to show him that there is a person that will stay. that i'm not someone that will be just another person he "builds up for another man". no. we'll grow together. we'll build each other up. someday soon, we're going to meet and it's going to be all we've ever prayed for. everything would fall into place. all will be enough.

for the first time in my life, i'm sure (wrote this line at 11:11).
why am i so sure? i don't know either.
but somewhere up above, He knows.

if i could go back to that one vacation in 2017 knowing all i know now, i wouldn't just remember the kayak, the water trike ride, and our dinner by the sea. i'd remember that, one day, the person living ten minutes away from el pescador would want to live his life with me.


-e.c.

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