saddest, scariest thing ever

the scariest thing that has ever happened to me was for me to be situated near someone so close yet so dangerous for me. the saddest thing that has ever happened to me was for me to be so far from someone i could have liked to be my home.

either way, life is not fair and the thick air of the night is capturing me in its arms. thoughts run steeply 24/7 non-stop. but for the first time in my life, i don't mind.

i don't mind having to overthink.

i don't mind being unable to follow through.

i don't mind taking my time.

i don't mind being fragile.

the scariest thing about living just a barangay away from someone so dangerous for me is that he strikes when i'm the most anxious, fearful, and sad. the saddest thing about living a thousand miles away from someone i call home is that someday, some time soon, i might change my mind. decide to be somewhere. decide that home is not a person. home won't be with me. home is me.

isn't that both sad and scary?


-e.c.

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